Sedi ciga na ulici i plače. Nailazi mu drug:
– Šta je bre cigo, što plačeš?
– Umro mi ćale!
– Auu, a jel ti živa baba?
– Jeste.
– Pa napravi ćaleta!
Vicevi
- Jackint
- First Team Coach
- Поруке: 490
- Придружен: 27 Сеп 2014, 11:18
- Место: Jugoslavija
- Has thanked: 7 times
- Been thanked: 2 times
- Status: Није на вези
Otišao naš političar kod Grka, poslovnog partnera, i ima sta da vidi, Grk živi u neviđenom luksuzu. Pita ga ovaj naš političar:
• Kako si uspeo sve ovo da stekneš?
Grk mu odgovori:
• Vidiš onaj most tamo?
• Vidim.
Grk:
• Taj most je trebao da bude širok 20 metara, a ja ga napravio širokog 15 metara i od para za tih 5 metara razlike je sve ovo!
Dođe sledeće godine Grk kod ovog našeg političara, a ovaj u triput većem luksuzu od njega.
Grk će iznenađeno:
• Kako si uspeo za samo godinu dana steći sve ovo?
Naš političar odgovara:
• Vidiš onaj most tamo?
Grk:
• Ne vidim.
Naš političar:
• Eeeeee....
• Kako si uspeo sve ovo da stekneš?
Grk mu odgovori:
• Vidiš onaj most tamo?
• Vidim.
Grk:
• Taj most je trebao da bude širok 20 metara, a ja ga napravio širokog 15 metara i od para za tih 5 metara razlike je sve ovo!
Dođe sledeće godine Grk kod ovog našeg političara, a ovaj u triput većem luksuzu od njega.
Grk će iznenađeno:
• Kako si uspeo za samo godinu dana steći sve ovo?
Naš političar odgovara:
• Vidiš onaj most tamo?
Grk:
• Ne vidim.
Naš političar:
• Eeeeee....
Последње учитавање од Jackint дана 20 Нов 2017, 23:55, учитано 1 пут укупно.
IN ARSENE WE TRUST!!!
- Jackint
- First Team Coach
- Поруке: 490
- Придружен: 27 Сеп 2014, 11:18
- Место: Jugoslavija
- Has thanked: 7 times
- Been thanked: 2 times
- Status: Није на вези
Dolazi Mujo u crkvu da se ispoveda i kaze:
- Oce, mnogo sam gresio. Dosla kod mene tasta, i mi uz kafu, pricu i... kresnemo se.
- Au, to je veliki greh.-rece pop.
- Nije to nista. Dosla ko mene svastika, i mi uz kafu, pricu i... kresnemo se.
- Au, ti si veliki gresnik.
- Ni to nije nista. Dosao kod mene zet, i mi uz kafu, pricu i... kresnemo se.
A pop ce:
- Ajde ti kuci da se i mi ne zapricamo.
- Oce, mnogo sam gresio. Dosla kod mene tasta, i mi uz kafu, pricu i... kresnemo se.
- Au, to je veliki greh.-rece pop.
- Nije to nista. Dosla ko mene svastika, i mi uz kafu, pricu i... kresnemo se.
- Au, ti si veliki gresnik.
- Ni to nije nista. Dosao kod mene zet, i mi uz kafu, pricu i... kresnemo se.
A pop ce:
- Ajde ti kuci da se i mi ne zapricamo.
IN ARSENE WE TRUST!!!
- hostile_bg
- Manager
- Поруке: 2335
- Придружен: 20 Окт 2011, 21:46
- Место: Beograd
- Status: Није на вези
- Jackint
- First Team Coach
- Поруке: 490
- Придружен: 27 Сеп 2014, 11:18
- Место: Jugoslavija
- Has thanked: 7 times
- Been thanked: 2 times
- Status: Није на вези
Re: Vicevi
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the language is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with"z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the language is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with"z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
IN ARSENE WE TRUST!!!
- Juvenino86
- Manager
- Поруке: 1148
- Придружен: 20 Нов 2012, 16:53
- Место: Srbija
- Klub koji vodite: Kyoto Sanga
- Has thanked: 5 times
- Been thanked: 2 times
- Status: Није на вези
Re: Vicevi
Kaze spazila baba lopova kako krade nesto. Taman da digne dzevu, lopov kaze- Nemoj da si slucajno zucnula baba bices jebana!!!
Zena se razmahala, lopov pobego.
Drugi dan ista meta isto odstojanje, baba ga opet provali da drpa, opet da digne dzevu, on njoj opet - Baba da cutis da ne bi bila jebana!!!
Baba sew opet razmase i razdere, lopov pobegne.
Treci dan opet baba skonta lopova, ali se okrene, sto zacudi lopova koji joj dovikne, nesto u fazonu - Djes baba, sto ne vices sad.
KKad njemu baba odgovara, - Ajde bezi u k***c mamu ti J***m! Istina je sto kazu ljudi, ko krade taj i laze!!!
Dje ste picke, pozz za sve koliko vas ima!!!
Zena se razmahala, lopov pobego.
Drugi dan ista meta isto odstojanje, baba ga opet provali da drpa, opet da digne dzevu, on njoj opet - Baba da cutis da ne bi bila jebana!!!
Baba sew opet razmase i razdere, lopov pobegne.
Treci dan opet baba skonta lopova, ali se okrene, sto zacudi lopova koji joj dovikne, nesto u fazonu - Djes baba, sto ne vices sad.
KKad njemu baba odgovara, - Ajde bezi u k***c mamu ti J***m! Istina je sto kazu ljudi, ko krade taj i laze!!!
Dje ste picke, pozz za sve koliko vas ima!!!
Um caruje, snaga za svaki slučaj!